Friday, September 30, 2011

DC - The New 52 - My Survey Response

No one reads this anymore, and I'm okay with that.  I'm putting this here for posterity.  This is a message I wrote for the Nielsen folks for their DC New 52 Survey when it asked for general comments to go to DC.

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You guys, you're doing it wrong.  Seriously.  I'm not just some internet fanboy who can't handle when his old continuity is wiped away.  I've been hoping for a reboot for years, even though I started reading DC with the Post-Crisis reboot in '86.

The costumes, the sex, the violence... they're terrible, and they're not going to bring you new readers.  Bringing back Barry and Hal because Geoff can't get enough of his childhood... that's not going to bring you new readers.  Rebooting the numbering on Action and 'Tec... that's not going to bring you new readers.

Making Wonder Woman's costume believable and less sexist... that might help.  Providing a single-use Comixology code in EVERY issue (even if it means giving Comixology an extra $1 to use the code)... THAT would get you new readers.  Donating Comixology codes to libraries and schools so that kids could read this stuff for free and get "hooked"... THAT would get you new readers.

I'm very sorry that you think what you're doing is going to work long term.  I hope that, when it doesn't and sales are far south of 100K again, you'll find some leaders who can see what comics are turning into and not be blinded on what they used to be.

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Missed Opportunity: The "New" Hobgoblin

(An open letter to Spider-Man editorial folks...)

Dear Guys Who Just Don't Get It,

Now, recognizing that Roderick Kingsley is, when thinking straight, quite risk-averse, and recognizing that he loves the Winkler Machine and that any future author who wants to can make the now-headless Hobgoblin into "Righty" Donovan, I grant that some author in the future may choose to undo what you have so unwisely done.  In that case, that author will "get it," and I won't have to shudder with anger over the course you've chosen.

Until that day...

Seriously, you're going to waste Roderick Kingsley, one of the greatest, yet most-underused Spidey-villains of all time, in order to give *Phil Urich* a big push for his face-heel turn?  Roderick Kingsley, created by Roger Stern, one of the greatest Spidey-writers of all time?  Roderick Kingsley, whose original run as the Hobgoblin is easily one of the ten best extended Spidey stories ever?  Roderick Kingsley, one of the few Spidey villains sane enough to quit and lay low occasionally?  ...Really?

You.  Don't.  Get.  It.  Why give us such a cliched entrance for the "new" Hobgoblin?  Why not have him threaten Kingsley and have Kingsley just decide, "This fight isn't worth it.  I give up"?  At least that would save a great Spidey villain for a future writer.  Instead, we have a pointless beheading and a wise-cracking new uber-violent Spidey villain.  Hooray?  This is a waste of a good character, and it's used to set up a really boring replacement for that good character.  I honestly would have thought that such a move was beneath Mr. Slott's abilities.

I can't tell you how excited I was last issue when the "new" Hobgoblin for Mr. Slott's run was "revealed" to be the original.  My first issue of AMAZING was #251.  I tracked down all the back-issues featuring this new, superior Goblin (and this was 1984!).  When I think of how the character has been wasted all these years, only to end up... like this... it saddens me.  Now, instead of being excited about Spider-Man for the first time post-BND, I'm more pessimistic about the book than ever.  If I hadn't vowed years ago to continue buying AMAZING no matter what, this would have been my last issue.  I realize I'm not a habitual letter-writer, but I am a long-term reader and devotee.  I don't say this as a fan-boy or as some newcomer.  You have robbed me of my enthusiasm for Spider-Man.  This one story doesn't do it by itself, but it's such a "shining" example of everything that's been wrong with the book for so long...  My enthusiasm is just gone.

Finally, please do yourselves and your readers a favor:  Stop marking AMAZING SPIDER-MAN as "All Ages" if you're going to show decapitated heads dripping with blood and other such subject matter.  This issue was completely inappropriate for the rating.  I have no problem with any of the stuff you're showing appearing in a Marvel book in general, but if you're going to mark it "A," shouldn't it actually BE "A"?

Sincerely,

Eric Teall

Sunday, January 16, 2011

Missed Opportunity: Ultimate Comics

Ooooh, rant, rant, ranty-rant.  I feel a RANTING comin' on!  Nevertheless, I'm going to try to keep this cogent.

Jeph Loeb's Ultimatum and its lead-in, Ultimates 3, absolutely destroyed any hope of the Ultimate universe ever having any relevance ever ever ever again.  I finally read the two of them this evening.  But let me start at the beginning...

I read comics from worst-to-best, generally speaking.  In the old days when I bought single issues, this meant that every Wednesday night crescendoed into comics glee.  However, there have always been exceptions to my worst-to-best rule.  As the two of you who actually still read this know, I am/used-to-be a huge Spidey fan, so the week's Spidey books went on top because they needed to be read.  Honestly, for many years, this was more of an honorary position than anything else, as the Spidey books have sucked pretty consistently since... 1987 (an exaggeration, but not by much).  However, for several years in the last decade, the so-good-it-just-cannot-wait book was Ultimate Spider-Man.  There was a smaller period where that title was given to anything with "Ultimate" in the title.  And you know what?  For a year or two in there, say, 2000-2002, the books pretty much deserved it.*  The Ultimate line was about getting back to basics with Marvel heroes, something that the 616/standard universe wasn't doing well at all.  Even with Ultimate X-Men quickly devolving into a weak point, even with Ultimate FF being a case of "if it ain't broke, don't fix it," even with the universe becoming more and more mired down with pointless mini-series, the darned thing held together so well for so long that I honestly spent the first half of that decade readjusting my mind to believe that the Ultimate universe was the "real" Marvel.

Now, there are lots of things that went wrong.  Letting Mark Millar have free reign in any long-term super-hero universe is chief among them.  The guy writes high-octane, fast-paced stuff that is somehow always universe-spanning.  Read just about any single arc of his, and you're going to be entertained along the way.  But he breaks the toys.  He turned Captain America into someone who "hates France."  What?  Just look at the way Ultimate X-Men treated characters.  You can't sustain a "brand-name" universe with that kind of writing.  You can't.

But if letting Millar anywhere near the Ultimate universe was a mistake, letting Jeph Loeb even think about the damned thing was like actually planning to fight like Custer at the Little Big Horn.

Look, Magneto reverses the magnetic poles of the Earth.  He... he alters the fundamental flow of energy for the entire planet.  One guy.  That's like having Storm freeze... the Earth... with snow.  And why does Magneto do this?  Because his daughter, who is basically a human cosmic cube (just like she was retconned to be in 616), is killed by Doctor Doom-boy.  Hey, look!  Let's have a couple of characters behave in randomly out-of-character ways (Ultimate Thor suddenly talks like a Shakespeare festival's village idiot, for example), and have Magneto gain a power-level that is just insane.  And I'm not using that word lightly, folks.  Magneto has been over-powered for decades, now, but this takes the magnetic cake.

And what happens?  Loeb breaks the toys.  Characters are killed left-and-right.  The Wasp is eaten by the all-new, all-disgusting Blob, who is then orally decapitated by Hank Pym.  And the worst part is, this sort of thing is actually the logical conclusion of the tone set by Millar, especially in Ultimates.  In the interest of being cool, of being edgy, of being "logical" with characters' powers and psychoses, toys are broken.  And when it's done on this large of a scale for no real reason, all it does is desensitize.

Ugh, it's late, I'm tired.  Maybe I'll come back to this, maybe not.  In the end, Ultimate Spider-Man seems to be on some kind of track, but Ultimate Avengers was just rot, and the other books are destroyed.  You don't make a universe "cool" by killing everything, by corrupting everything, by destroying story engines that can work.  You make a universe "cool" through good stories, and that's something that Loeb and Millar have failed to do here.  I wish I had more mental energy to explain this, but... it's late, and I have school tomorrow.

Thanks for ruining something that could have been so much more, guys.  Way to go.

*There never was a book called Ultimate Adventures, BTW.  No universe created by a loving god could support such an abomination.